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Tuesday, January 29th, 2013
4:57 pm - new year, new thoughts, new things.
so as always, its been awhile since i've last written in this journal.

a few things have happened! about a month after i wrote my last journal post, steve actually proposed. so yes, we are getting married this year in 2013! i'm very excited to be one with the love of my life.

sadly, my friend jackie who i wrote about in my last post passed away about a month after i wrote that. its extremely hard to get through, considering she was my best friend. especially now that i'm getting married, there is a huge void since she was my beauty expert. its so sad and depressing sometimes, but it teaches you to live life to the fullest. there's not a day that goes by that i don't think about her.

i'm still working at the same place, being the talent acquisition guru that i am. its a nice place to be, and i love getting designer sunglasses for cheap!

i got a cd from the radio station of an artist called robert delong. i am actually very impressed with it! he's a singer/songwriter who apparently is an 8-bit master. its been awhile since i've actually heard something this impressive.

i've had my own radio show for 5 years, its been awesome! i love the experience, and i can't wait to continue on forever. its an awesome way for me to express myself via electronic music, and it also gives people an opportunity to listen to underground edm which is very hard to find in this day and age. when i first got sirius radio, i was like oh my god all of this awesome electronic music! granted, there are several shows that are still pretty amazing, but at least during rush hour (morning and evening) the music became a little flat. its probably because there are so many people out there who are into EDM now that they dilute it to get more listenership. but that's what terrestial radio is for though! its already ruined, so why do they have to ruin satellite as well? i call bs on that one!

politics-wise, 2013 sucks. it sucks so much to know that i am contributing to social security and medicare, and probably won't be recieving it by the time i am eligible. i am 24 years old, but i know for sure that taxes will continue to increase in time and it will make people my age in new york suffer even more. its hard enough to live here at it is, but unfortunately all the jobs are here. if i were to go upstate, i'd be fucked. if i went out of state, then i'd be surrounded with hicks but would have extra spending money and lower cost of living. if i leave long island, then i won't have decent beaches (although the water quality is now fair to poor after hurricane sandy) and the beautiful landscapes that this island has to offer that i take advantage of all the time. there's so much culture here, which i like. its just a hard tradeoff. you go to college and you work hard, but more and more money goes to taxes to pay for people who maybe didn't take as much initiative as you, or didn't care enough about succeeding. granted, there's always those who are really down on their luck and truly need the support but at the same time there are still tons of people who are just ripping off the government.

a few weeks ago, steve and i went to blimpie in farmingdale with my mom. when we were there, we saw this crackhead lady who came up to us and was begginig for money. since my mom comes from an impoverished background, she felt sympathetic and decided to give the woman 5 bucks under the condition that she actually buys a sandwich to feed herself instead of spending that money on crack, alcohol, whatever. after she does that, the crack lady drops an additional $10 out of her pocket. ON TOP OF THAT, the woman orders the most expensive sandwich, and then when the cashier asks for payment she tells her that she has no money!!!!! what nerve!!! so the cashier, who felt bad gave her the sandwich for free, even though we told her that my mom gave her money already to pay for it. it is literally disgusting that our tax dollars are going to people like this. i worked my ass off through college, taking full credit loads and working 30 hours/week. studied hard, and got to where i am today. yet its illegal for people like me to keep more of our earnings because we need to pay for healthcare and medicaid for people who are liars, theives, and do not deserve social help because obviously they're taking advantage. its very depressing, and unfortunately i would take care of the problem myself and move somewhere but in terms of taxation, europe and other parts of the world are worse. there's no winning.

a sad story for a young person in america.

current mood: ehhhh

(and my heart stays in the lead)

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012
12:11 pm - church is not for praying, its for celebrating the light that shines through the panes.
woo it is almost fourth of july.

i can't wait to get out of work today and enjoy my wednesday off for the holiday. friday i'm hanging out with cooper in brooklyn to have a cheap drink to celebrate jamie moving away. not that it should really matter, but its funny how she burns all her friends then runs away. i bet she'll be back in a year and a half. but again, not my life, none of my business, she's been out of mine for a few years now. its just funny to watch on the outside.

going to grab some lunch now. finally!

(and my heart stays in the lead)

Thursday, June 21st, 2012
11:31 am - you're gonna love again.
it's thursday. thank god the week is almost over. last week it was so slow that it was unbearable - but at least this week i have a few other things going on to keep me busy.

yesterday i bought a pair of oliver peoples sunglasses for 50 bucks from ilori. such a great deal. i'll probably be buying some pradas next week from here with my discount, they're nice classy square glasses that can be used for anything.

last night i had a great conversation with my friend josh, who i actually met here on lj many many years ago. xkillingmoon or something like that. its so crazy how you lose touch with some people, but they come back into your lives all of a sudden. i mean this isn't the first time we lost touch, but its friends like that who are always there. same thing happens with my friend jackie, she's almost like my sister. i get busy with work, she gets busy with life, but we always find time to reconnect. i went to her salon last weekend to get my high school hair back, which it is btw! just like old times.

is it bad that i'm nostalgic? i just feel that after all these years in college just working and going to school, i didn't have much time to concentrate on myself and my identity that i kind of let myself go. now that i'm in a good place, making decent money, and life is pretty much stable at the moment maybe i should focus more on who i am and what my personal short-term and long-term goals are. the first step, getting the daft punk tattoo on my arm a couple years ago.

its hard to identify with yourself, especially when you're in a corporate environment too. think about it, if you work full-time, you're at work 40 hours/week. thats a lot of time sitting in uncomfortable clothes and conforming to your organization. so you tend to lose yourself - by the time you get home you throw on sweats, hang out, go to bed, and start the day all over again. inside, i feel like a 16 year old punky girl, just as i was back in the day. and even though i wear tiffany jewelery from my boyfriend, and designer frames that i get for cheap, i try to dress like i feel inside as much as possible - but honestly it's hard in a corporate environment!!

i feel like a kid in private school. granted, the dress code isn't horrible here. i wear my 3 pairs black skinny jeans and a nice top every day for the most part, but i wish i had purple accents in my hair or plugs. i guess its part of growing up - i don't even know. but i'm only 23 years old. i have the rest of my life to be old and farty!

but you know what, i've been trying my best to live it up. do things now that i won't regret later. the last thing i want to do is get a red corvette when i'm 50 thinking that i didn't do enough. i bought a semi-sportscar, my volvo c30 with 2 doors and 2 back seats. why? i don't have kids, i'm in my 20's - live it up. i spent $170 for my sensation white ticket. why? because these are the roaring 20's and i should live it up. i'm past the invincible phase of my teen years, so i'm more of the mantra of, if i die tomorrow i want to die happy. so why not?

current mood: nostalgic

(and my heart stays in the lead)

Friday, June 15th, 2012
1:56 pm - the bitch is back!
so its been over 1 year since i posted in this journal. i know i always write that i'm going to keep this going and never do, but its still a nice little chronology of my life thus far.

so a few changes:
1) steve and i moved from deer park to oyster bay last october. it was a really great move, and we are now living in a carriage house on the north shore just as we always envisioned. its kind of like a dream come true! oyster bay is a really beautiful place to live, there's more nature and its only a 17 minute commute to my new job that i never wrote about. so on that note...
2) new job! i started at this job june 20th 2011 as a talent acquisition coordinator for a global eyewear company that owns a ton of high-end licenses including ray ban, a house brand of ours. its cool working in a corporate HR environment, just as i wanted. the job search as a whole was pretty degrading, but it all paid off because this company is doing so well and the momentum is running high, leaving awesome opportunities to grow from within. i have a really great boss, and friendly co-workers within the talent acquisition team. the HR side is a different story though, so thank goodness i didn't get hired for the actual job i interviewed for. instead, they created a new one in recruitment, and here i am!
3) almost a year after i started my job, i was offered a substantial raise and promotion! of course i took it, obviously, but now i am the talent acquisition specialist here with a 20% pay increase. can't complain about that! especially because of the types of positions i recruit for. i placed an entire department, and it was awesome. this job is great, and i can't ask for anything better.

still not engaged, or any kind of formal commitment from steve. we've been together for 4.5 years, i might as well give it some time because i know he's serious and loves me. i guess its just a matter of finding that right moment, or time in your life when you can make stuff happen. still, its annoying when i go on facebook and see all of these people getting engaged who are no where near where we are as far as relationship status, but what are you going to do? you're signing up for your own destiny. i can see future divorces already, but obviously not wish that upon someone unless its a positive change, so i guess all i can do is be patient and see what happens. my biggest fear is wasting my 20's with someone, who i think is "the one", and it not work out and end up 30something in a karaoke bar. if i play my cards right, hopefully it will happen. but the light shining on me from above has brought nothing but positivity in my life so far, so i can't push it or complain too much. i can honestly say, life is good.

this year i have a few awesome concerts to go to including electric zoo, sensation white, and others. i'm excited! life is cool, so maybe i'll start updating this thing. oh here we go another promise to update! haha we'll see...

current mood: grateful

(and my heart stays in the lead)

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